By Eleanor Dunfey Freiburger, Southern New Hampshire University Professor Emeritus, professor of ethics and civic engagement; director of the Faculty Center for Innovation and Excellence in Teaching; and co-chair, Global Citizen’s Circle. On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, these are Eleanor’s words to the National Cultural Diversity Advisory Council on the anniversary of his assassination, April 4. She recalls the summer of 1968 when the Dunfey family arranged for the King Family to spend a summer in New Hampshire.
WE CONNECT THREE ‘ACTION’ WORDS, IN PARTICULAR, WITH ANY REMEMBRANCE OF DR. KING: REMEMBER / CELEBRATE / ACT – AND I’LL USE THOSE AS THE FRAME OF MY REFLECTION.
REMEMBER
TONIGHT, IN A SPECIAL WAY, WE RECALL A YOUNG WIDOW AND HER FOUR CHILDREN. IN THE SUMMER OF 1968, CORETTA SCOTT KING HAD EVEN MORE RESPONSIBILITY THAN BEFORE THE TRAGEDY THAT SHOOK HER, HER FAMILY AND THE NATION ON APRIL 4. SHE WAS NOW LOOKING FOR A PLACE FOR HER 4 CHILDREN AND HERSELF: A PLACE TO HEAL, TO PLAY AND TO ESCAPE THE ATTENTION OF THE NATION. A QUIET PLACE WHERE SHE COULD BEGIN WRITING WHAT WOULD BECOME HER BOOK, MY LIFE WITH MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
IT SO HAPPENED THAT A FRIEND OF THE KINGS AND THE DUNFEYS – EARL GRAVES, FOUNDER OF BLACK ENTERPRISE MAGAZINE – KNEW THAT WALTER AND BARBARA DUNFEY UP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE ALSO HAD FOUR CHILDREN – KNEW THEY HAD A COTTAGE ON LAKE WINNIPESAUKEE… SO HE CONTACTED THEM AND THE INVITATION WAS EXTENDED TO THE KING FAMILY TO COME UP THERE.
LIFE STORIES EVOLVE FROM SUCH INVITATIONS – THIS ONE INCLUDED A COTTAGE, A BUNK HOUSE, A SMALL BOAT CALLED “PUTT-PUTT”, A LOVABLE LAB NAMED INKY, A DIVING RAFT FOR SWIMMING, AND A COLLECTION OF IRISH AND JEWISH KIDS, DUNFEYS AND HIRSHBERGS! SOUNDS LIKE THE MAKINGS OF A SCHOOL ESSAY: WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION!
IT IS JUST THAT SIMPLE – BUT IT REQUIRED AN INVITATION – AND THAT IS WHAT WE REMEMBER. WE ARE ALL ASKED TO REACH OUT IN OUR LIVES AND MAKE IT POSSIBLE TO INVITE OTHERS INTO THEM. ONLY IF WE DO WILL WE HAVE STORIES TO PASS ON TO AND THROUGH OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN.
CELEBRATE
IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO THINK THERE COULD BE ROOM TO CELEBRATE – TO LAUGH AND PLAY – AFTER SUCH A FAMILY TRAGEDY AS CORETTA SCOTT KING ENDURED? YES! SHE KNEW SHE HAD TO NURTURE THE GROWING LIVES OF HER CHILDREN. SHE WAS TOTALLY FOCUSED ON GIVING THEM THE JOY OF CHILDHOOD DESPITE THE THREATS AND TRAUMAS THEY HAD SUFFERED.
I SHARE HERE A FEW PICTURES REFLECTING THE FUN OF SUMMERTIME IN WHAT HER HUSBAND HAD CALLED ‘THE PRODIGIOUS HILLTOPS OF NH’ – HERE WERE HER CHILDREN WITH OTHER KIDS – BLACK AND WHITE, CATHOLIC, PROTESTANT AND JEWISH— DISCOVERING ALL THEY HAD IN COMMON.
NOTE: THE PICTURES WERE MERELY ‘ASIDES’ – THAT SUMMER VACATION WAS NOT MEANT TO BE RECORDED AND PUBLICIZED. IT WAS MEANT TO ALLOW IN THE FRESH AIR AND FREEDOM OF INCLUSIVENESS. THESE KIDS HAD DAYS OF FUN AFTER WHICH THEY PILED INTO THE ‘BUNK HOUSE’ – YOUNG WALTER DUNFEY RECALLS ONE OF HIS ROLES WAS TO GET EVERYONE INTO THEIR BUNKS AT NIGHT AND THEN TURN ON THE RADIO. EVEN IN THIS QUIET GETAWAY – REALITY FOUND THEM…
THE KING CHILDREN, HE SAID, WOULD KNEEL BY THEIR BEDS AND PRAY FOR EACH OTHER, THEIR MOTHER AND FATHER AND THAT THE POLICE WOULD FIND THE PERSON WHO KILLED THEIR FATHER. ONE NIGHT, A NEWS ALERT CRACKLED THROUGH THE CLOTH COVERED SPEAKERS: “Scotland Yard had caught the man who shot King…” THE KIDS EXPLODED AND RAN INTO THE MAIN COTTAGE – “MOM – MOM – They caught him. They caught him!”
SO, HERE WE ARE 45 YEARS LATER. ALL THE KIDS HAVE GROWN – MOST ARE PARENTS, EVEN GRAND-PARENTS NOW. BARBARA AND WALTER HAVE PASSED AWAY, BUT STORIES LIKE THE SUMMER OF ’68 LIVE ON.
ACT
AND WHAT MIGHT THAT TELL US GATHERED HERE TONIGHT? I THINK IT REMINDS US THAT WE LEAVE OUR STORIES – FROM ONE GENERATION TO THE NEXT. OH – WE KNOW THERE ARE FAMILY STORIES OF FOIBLES AND FAILURES, OF MATERIAL THINGS. BUT…WHAT KIND OF STORIES WILL OUR CHILDREN HAVE TO TELL?
PERHAPS THE VERY BEST ‘ACTION’ WE CAN TAKE IS TO FOLLOW CORETTA’S EXAMPLE: TAKE TIME WITH OUR CHILDREN DOING THINGS – EVEN SEEMINGLY SIMPLE THINGS – THAT WILL MAKE SIGNIFICANT STORIES – STORIES OF INVITATION, WARMTH, FUN, INCLUSIVENESS – FOR OUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN TO LEARN FROM AND SHARE.
THANK YOU FOR INVITING US TO DO JUST THAT ON THIS ANNIVERSARY OF DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
Gary Hirshberg was one of the “kids” who played together that summer and then decades later formed Stonyfield Farm, where he still is Chairman and a leading advocate of socially responsible business. When Eleanor circulated this among our families, he wrote:
Hi Eleanor, none of us will ever forget that extraordinary summer for so many reasons. But I know that the sweet and healing normalcy of kids and families enjoying the lake was especially appreciated as the “real world” was at least temporarily held at bay. In fact, I saw Coretta in the early 2000’s and despite the 3 decades that had passed, she still remembered every last detail you referenced, from Inky and Putt Putt to Bingo, the Donzi and all 9 of the Dunfey and Hirshberg kids’ names. She told me that she still remembered that retreat as one of the warmest memories of her life.
Thanks for bringing back and sharing the memories. However, to correct the historical record, only one of those photos was taken at Walter’s and Barbara’s – the one in my little whaler with Walt Jr (or “Wally”) and Martin Luther King III (or “Marty”) was taken in front of their Dockham Shore house. The other three were taken at the Hirshberg’s Mark Island house. 
